Please Don't Make My Mistake.
By Heather (Manning) Taylor
In the Fall of 95, I was arrested for 2 cts. of 1st degree. robbery.
I was pregnant, going thru a divorce, and already on intense probation.
I used to dance, because I didn't want to work.
I was used to my ex-husband taking care of me. He sold drugs, and I got
used to living a 'large' lifestyle. When he went to prison he was facing
75 yrs., and he used to beat the shit out of me, so I decided to leave him.
I filed for divorce, and in the meanwhile, met the father of my son.
I talked my son's father into helping me with
some robberies. Told him I knew both men had a lot of money. All I had to
do was 'pretend' I would go on a 'date' with them. I knew this wouldn't
be hard since they would harass me all the time. Both men became familiar
with my car, and had even followed me around after work. One even found out
my address...cause I didn't have enough gas to ride around long enough to
lose him. I got real scared one day when that man in particular parked on
the side street of my house and flashed his brights continuously at my picture
window. I was at the point where I wanted both men to have their asses kicked.
I told my son's father that I wanted them beat
and robbed. He wouldn't agree to hurting them, but he was game for robbing
them. I came up with all the plans. He had 2 of his friends help with the
first robbery just to get a feel for it.
For the 1st man, all I did was drive my car downtown
by the club, and before you know it the trick started following me when
he saw my car. I pulled over and asked him if he was talking a lot of cash,
we could get down for a minute. He agreed to it, and offered me $400.00.
I told him to follow me. I had him follow me down by a dead end street in
a secluded area, where my son's father and two friends were already hiding
and waiting. As I got out, and got in the trick's truck, we spoke, he gave
me the money, and I was going towards my zipper on my pants..when the 3 men
came out of no where and 2 of them were pointing guns at the windows in the
truck. They were ordering us to get out. We get out and were ordered to strip.
Only the guy stripped; the guys acted like since I was pregnant, I didn't
have to strip--and 'let me go.' I took off. I remember the trick yelling
obscenities the whole time. He was calling my sons father and his friends
niggers, and how he'd hang them when this was over. Mind you, they all wore
ski masks, rags, and pantyhose. You could not see the color of their skin.
They proceeded to go along with the plan, and they stripped him naked (it
was a chilly Oct. eve), and handcuffed him to a fence by the freeway. (I
wanted them to be exploited as much as possible. Cause I couldn't stand tricks.)
The other robbery happened 2 weeks. later. Didn't
know he was a state representative until I was arrested! Anyway, I lured
him the same way, and had him follow me to a secluded park/forest area. My
son's father was waiting for him also. But, no friends this time. He jumped
out and pointed a gun at us, and ordered us out. We got out, 'he let me go
again.' He made the man get naked and tied him up with a snow chain to a
tree. I met him down the road to a giant ditch where we stripped his car.
We are in the ditch, and we see the man running down the gravel road towards
us, naked, but he can't see us cause we are in the ditch. I yelled at my
son's father to get out and shoot him. He shot at him, but didn't hit
him. The man dived into the bushes, and got away.
At both robberies we obtained over $500 in cash,
computer equipment, and took money out of their ATM accounts. I won't mess
with credit cards, or checks,,,,so that is all we did.
One night I am laying in bed with my son's father..who
was my fiancé back than. I heard loud knocks at the door, and "Police!
Open Up!!" I'm like..oh shit. This has happened to me tons of times before.
I'm like, I'm not opening up baby. They're going to have to come get me.
I knew I was facing a lot of fucking time. They threatened to throw in tear
gas, and since I was 5 months. pregnant,,,my fiancé opened the door.
I had feeling they were coming to get me because they had been following
me lately. We lived by a busy car lot, and they would park alongside the
cars in the lot, and I would see some car move out the corner of my eye..but
my fiancé said I was just paranoid. I knew I wasn't. He got arrested
for interference because he was in the house and didn't open the door right
away. But he didn't get arrested for anything else. Found out later that
was because they didn't have solid proof on him...they needed my testimony.
I was in lock up for 18 hours., and they weren't
letting me out. They kept lying. Telling me that my fiancé was next
door and admitted the guns were his in the house. Trying to get me to co-sign.
They offered me a bargain of 2nd degree. robbery for only 10 yrs. if I told
the 'truth.' I told them to do their job. Be a real detective. Find out
for yourself who helped me..you won't get my help. Mind you, I was going
down regardless. They found a victim's wallet and clothing under my bed,
a .357, a bolt action rifle, a AR-15 with live rounds, a meat cleaver under
the couch..am I painting a ugly picture yet??
I ended up getting a nice, fat 25 year sentence.
In Iowa, back than, you did about 6-7 years for a forcible felony such as
mine off of a 25 year sentence.
What I didn't mention is the kind of person I
was back than. I was Ms. Hard. Oh yes. Being married to my ex-husband made
me evil. He fought me like a man, and it made me fight everyone. I had no
love for anyone. If I couldn't fight you, I would shoot at you, or cut you.
I didn't care as long as you got yours. I had numerous charges. Gun charges,
knife charges, forgery/credit card charges, assaults, domestic violence,
you name it. I probably been arrested for it. (Just no sex crimes!)
Not keeping a job, wanting fast money, and having
a bad attitude=A terrible life. You can expect a life full of emptiness.
Whatever is worth having is worth working hard for. Not taking. As for the
ladies who think dancing is glamorous. Whatever. I never used drugs, so that
wasn't an issue. I just wanted fast money. You will be far from a superstar.
You will have men try and rape you, men will stalk you...sooner or later
you will snap and hurt one of them. Do you have grounds to? No. You chose
that lifestyle..what did you expect? I don't put my hands on anyone anymore.
Fighting solves nothing. Yeah, it used to feel good afterwards...but sit
your ass in prison for 7 1/2 years...and I bet sure as the sky is blue..that
you will think before you act. Consequences will always be in your mind to
guide your choices.
I went to the hole 9 times in prison. I feel to
this day that I had to go there. Had to. Prison calls for you to be tough,
don't take any shit. I had to prove myself. I was thin, and looked like
I was a pushover..so I kicked ass and did enough of it where I was left
alone.
What is one of the hardest things to deal with
in prison? Smart ass C.O.'s. They will push you and tempt you so much in there.
Finally in my 4th year or so, I just ignored it. But it is hard as hell.
I had tons of verbal abuse tickets, and disruption tickets. They know you
can't do shit, and if you try, you are cuffed or shocked so quick...they never
feel it.
I had no clue what prison really was until I went
there. To have everything stripped from you...you have no idea till it happens.
You can't yell when your mad, can't slam a door, can't look pretty anymore,
because no one can do your hair..(that's a sexual misconduct to be touched,
period.), you can't smell nice..shit, you can't have anything that smells
good. I knew of no smells but feet, funk, and shit.
You have to eat when they say, for the time allotted
that THEY say, you can't run at all, anywhere, but the treadmill. You can't
be out when it's foggy, or dark. You can't talk on the phones when you want
to. Can't sleep during the day like I thought you could. Oh no. No reclining
on your bunk either. From 6 am - 6 pm..you better be sitting upright. You
can't share food, or ANYTHING. You only get 3 big, granny panties a week
to wear. Laundry is every other day, and if you don't get it in by said time,
your screwed, plus get a ticket. If you change sizes at all, you have to
wait until they call it over the loud speaker, rush to get there..but don't
run..and you hopefully will make it in. Once your in, you must try on said
item and model it for the ugly man C.O. and the whole line. He was an asshole,
so he would make comments about how you looked and would often comment on
how dumb you are. He did that on purpose. So you would get smart back and
he could send you to the hole.
There are tons of rules that you won't be able to stand.
If you are getting in trouble, you most definitely have a problem with authority.
And those are just the people they like. THey will torment you and make
your life hell, just because you think you are a bad ass and hate cops.
You will go the right place alright.
Hopefully you don't make that trip. Once you get
out, getting a job is almost non-existent. Sure, you might get hired somewhere.
For minimum wage only. It won't pay your bills. And you won't qualify for
most grants, and help along the way. Because now you are a felon. Marked
for life. Voting may not seem important to you now. But, once you grow up
and change your life..it will be important to you. But, you won't be able
to. In my state, you can't even get you voting rights restored even 15 years
after you're discharged off parole!
I hope you think, and think hard after reading
my letter. I had to give birth to my son in prison. I now don't have custody.
Do you realize everything I lost and will never have the chance to regain??
© Copyright 2003 Heather Taylor
If you are in trouble or on your way to trouble, e-mail Heather. She will
be a friend who cares and who has been there and done that and regrets it.
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